Accepting that your child is a bully is very difficult for the parents. Most of them tend to get defensive regarding their child’s negative behavior and ignore it hoping, with time, this behavioral problem will go away. But the reality is rarely so.
There are some signs which depict that the child can be a potential bully. Recognizing these signs can help to nip the problem at bud, before it becomes a strong habit.
Bullies typically have a low self esteem. Bullying others give them a sense of power. Check whether the child has always been insecure in nature.
Sometimes bullying may be a mirroring act. That is, the child may have been bullied by an older sibling or may have witnessed instances of bullying in the family. Such behaviors may come across as a role model act and the child may adopt it thinking it is a natural way to behave. Check whether the family environment is responsible for your child to be a bully.
Another characteristic of a person who bullies is that they take violence in a positive way. For them, there is nothing wrong in being physically or verbally violent with others and it just gives them an ego boost.Children who are very impulsive or hot-headed tend to be at a greater risk in becoming bullies. Look out for signs of quick temper, destructive behavior, lack of empathy etc.Once the you know that your child is a bully, it is important to address this problem, as left to itself, it tends to become worse.
Steps to be taken
The primary step is to talk to the child regarding this behavior. One should try to find out the real reason behind such acts. Listening to what the child says can give one an idea of what is bothering the child and how to address it. Along with this, it is important to let the child strictly know that this type of behavior will not be tolerable.
At times the child may be watching too many violent programs on the television or video games. Such programs lead to the affinity towards aggression. Hence, it is important to monitor your child. Also,parents must make the child realize that violence is not a solution.
It is also important for the parents to monitor their home environment. Most of the kids who bully may come from homes where parents always bully each other; or the child is regularly subjected to harsh criticism or spanking.
Supervising or monitoring the child’s behavior on a regular basis is important. Monitor their activities, find out who their friends are and be strict on witnessing a bullying instance. All these will discourage the child from indulging in the wrong activities.
Lastly, it is important to collaborate with their school in addressing this problem. Working together with the teachers and principal will be very helpful as the child will then be constantly monitored and counseled. Also if the problem becomes too severe, one can consult a child psychologist.It is important to remember that this behavior should be corrected in a early stage or as this grows it can turn into a habit which would be hard to give up.
