Raising children is a process involving promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, mental, intellectual and social security and development of a child right from birth or infancy to adulthood. While usually there exists a biological relationship between the parent and the child, it may not always be necessary.
It may be the most demanding task of one’s life, and yet the most satisfying! Most of our knowledge about raising children comes from our own experience growing up, our experiences as adults and our surroundings, which may result in imitation of patterns of behavior of our parents. This may not always be healthy since, the present circumstances, surroundings and state of the world may be completely different from back then, and the traditional ways may not always produce the best results in the present case.
For raising children to grow up into mature and intelligent adults with a good personality and character, it is essential to lay the foundation during infancy. Child development psychology says that the first seven years of a child’s life are the foundation years and impact the rest of the life!
Also for the first five years, the child primarily needs the mother’s affection, nurturing and love, with a supporting role from the father. After that until adolescence, the father’s role also becomes important in developing and disciplining the child, using encouragement and love rather than force, punishment or abuse.
Parents are the child’s first role models. Moreover, children learn by observation and imitation, and hence any unhealthy behaviour on our part will be picked up consciously or unconsciously by the child. Hence, a behaviour based on the foundation of honesty, acceptance, openness, unconditional love and support will elicit similar behavior in the children.
It is of extreme importance to respect their individuality and personalities, and not use them to satisfy our unfulfilled desires and goals, by imposing on them. It is also essential to remain responsive to their needs, desires and feelings and not set unrealistic expectations and high standards which may be difficult for them to keep up to.
Inculcating the importance of discipline is another important aspect when raising children. Defining limits, setting clear boundaries and expectations, after consulting with them, improves the chances of their compliance with the rules. It is also important to physically and emotionally be present with them throughout the childhood.
Most of the problems arise due to communication differences between parents and children, un-expressed expectations and desires and assuming things about each other. Effective communication forms the basis of any good relationship. Children are often apprehensive to express honestly out of fear of rejection, punishment or insecurity. This needs effective intervention on behalf of the parent to provide an emotionally open, supportive and accepting atmosphere at home!
