Parenting is the hub of dilemmas. Most parents want to discipline their child but are not sure of the ways they should adopt to make it a success. One of the common dilemmas among parents is whether to use the mode of punishment or that of rewards in order to make their child behave in the right way. Both the techniques has its own pros and cons. What is important is to decide wisely as to how to use them.
Many parents believe that punishing the bad behavior is a good way of making a child sure that the child behaves properly. But punishment can have a two-way effect.
Punishments often tend to backfire as it often makes the child resentful and takes the focus off the real cause of such punishment. The children start feeling bad and the relationship with the parent gets strained, and the child may even suffer from low self-esteem.
Tips for effective punishment-
Instead of just punishing randomly for everything, it is important to consistently punish one particular bad behavior. That way, the child will understand that the particular bad behavior is something that should be avoided; without harboring any resentful feeling towards their parents.
It is always important to explain to the child the reasons behind the punishment. On the part of the child, such reasoning will prevent the feeling of the punishment being irrationally imposed on them. They might actually think about their actions.
It is important for the parents to have a warm relationship with the child in order to make a punishment work. The parents should also volunteer to help their child out in finding a solution to the bad behavior which led to the punishment. This maintains the healthy relationship between both of them.
Good as it may sound, even rewarding can backfire. If the parents don’t control it, the children can manipulate this technique their own way. Rewarding is indeed a way of manipulating the child by rewarding them if they behave well. This can also lead to the child dictating terms thereby placing them in the control position.
Tips for effective rewarding-
Parents should be careful about the kind of rewards they give. It should not spoil the child or make them greedy.
Parents should be specific about why they are rewarding the child so that the child doesn’t find a way to manipulate every situation for getting a reward.
It is advisable to reward a child following a good behavior and not to extract a good behavior. If the parents manipulate, the child learns the same.
Hence we can say that, instead of following any one method to the extreme, it is better to form a balance between the two. Each child differs and so one should focus on the child’s nature before deciding on a form of corrective measure.